Stop caring what they think.
As a coach, there’s something that I hear the most from people seeking my advice and coaching services. And that’s the worry about opinions, judgements, and criticism from other people. Let me be blunt with you. Fuck what other people think lol. If you think that’s harsh, how would you describe the unnecessary criticism from people who don’t have the courage or the will to do what you’re starting, but will happily discourage you from doing it too?
The truth is, they could do what you’re doing if they wanted to, but they know just like you know, that it pushes you out of your comfort zone, and seeing you do it reminds them of what they’re not willing to do currently. That’s usually all it is. Yea some people are more malicious or intentional with their hating, but a majority of the time their criticism of you is more about their own insecurities than it is about you. Once you accept that it’s not about you and it’s about them, you stop taking it as personal. But I know how hard that is because I’m always working on improving.
I created the STO brand to normalize a community that does as well. When you learn that the “O” in STO stands for Overcome, now you understand why. It’s overcoming not only the critical voice in our own heads, but the perceived voice of other peoples judgements. A huge fear of that judgement is not only the awkward stage of growing and failing, but also the thought about what if it doesn’t work out. Then you’re going to publicly be seen as a failure. No you’re not. You’re publicly going to look like a person who has the courage to make something happen and pursued what you want. You only fail if you don’t learn, adjust and try something new or in a new way. You only fail when you quit and give up on your calling. If you never stop, how can you say that you failed? Even if you have to change your target, who’s to say that you didn’t need to hit a road block with the first target to know where the actual target is?
I could go on and on about this because it’s very nuanced, and it’s a major pain point for many people I work with, but I’m going to circle back to this many times in the future. But what I want you to take from this is, stop valuing the opinions and judgements from people who aren’t even playing the game. If they’re not working on something, they don’t know what it takes. The ones who are in the mix, or ones who have achieved a high level of success, are rooting for you because they used to be in your very shoes. They want you to win, and many times will help you win. That’s what you should be focused on. You should be proud that you are going for what you truly want. Don’t pick up weight that doesn’t belong to you.