The First Time I Was Asked to Compromise Myself.

Here’s an interesting story from my childhood that I’ll never forget. When I was 10 years old turning 11, we had tryouts for the next level of little league ball. I was going from minors at 10 years old to the majors at 11-12 years old. I was excited to be essentially graduating, and going to play with the best players in the league and also playing on the major league field that was a lot nicer and cooler. I just finished having a great year in minors and I was excited for what the future had in store. The day of the tryouts I remember being really excited and surprisingly not nervous at all. I knew all I had to do was go out there and do my best. I didn’t care about anything else or what team might pick me. I did understand though that the top players get picked by the teams that had the worst records the previous year though. So the first team to pick is the team that performed the worst, and so on until you got to the best teams records. I didn’t care about that though, I just wanted to play the game that I loved.

But now the tryout is about to start and a couple adults approach me in private, without my parents there and they say hey I just want to let you know that you’re going to get picked first overall by the white sox because you’re the best player in the league. They said that team sucks, but if you bomb the tryout, they might decide to pass on you and then we can pick you up at a later pick. At 10 years old I knew what he was saying but I couldn’t believe what he was asking. He was literally asking me to go out there and perform badly on purpose so I don’t get picked by the worst team. My brain didn’t even register that this is something that would even be an option. Or something that would ever be asked to a 10 year old. I remember just saying ok to what they said and then they walked away saying good luck.

Fast forward, the tryouts started and hitting was the first thing we did. From there I got right into my usual tunnel vision. The first pitch came and I hit it over the fence. Then the next pitch came and another one went over the fence. And then over and over until my round was done. I hit every pitch over the fence in a 10 pitch round and the only one that didn’t count was the one that went over the fence but foul. After that round is when I remembered what those guys asked me to do but never even considered it. I’m not about to go out there and disrespect the game I love. I’m not about to deceive people. I’m not about to play poorly on purpose. I don’t even know how to do that or what it feels like. And I didn’t want to find out. I love playing well and giving my best effort. Playing bad would have been harder than playing the way I know I can play, that’s for sure. I felt good about the tryout and I knew that not only did I do really well, but that I was given the option to compromise my own 10 year old integrity and that it wasn’t something I ever even thought about doing. It wasn’t even a question. It’s like it went in one ear and right out the other.

Looking back, that was a big moment for me. It showed me that my parents raised me to never compromise my integrity or self respect for an opportunity, but it also showed me that people will gladly offer you the opportunity to do so. For your own own selfish gain, and their own agenda. That was the first time in my life that I was offered a chance to compromise myself and that’s the reason why I remember like it happened yesterday. It wasn’t traumatic, or anything like that. It was just a memory, and I guess you could say a lesson that I’ll never forget. If an opportunity like that can be offered over a little league team, I definitely knew that it would be offered in something more high stakes. So the moral of the story is to put your own integrity and self respect over literally anything. Nothing valuable in life will require you to do so. You’ll end up living with the regret that doesn’t go away. It’s much better to get it the right way. Even if it takes longer, it’s worth it.

I did end up getting drafted the white sox. I had a great year individually, but as a team we didn’t do well enough to make the playoffs in either of the two years I played in the majors there. But I knew that that’s not what mattered. I had a great time connecting with my teammates and coaches and we made great memories. I knew that there was still the all star team at the end of the season to look forward to. And I knew that I’ d be able to graduate into the next level of baseball and not feel any regret for the way I finessed the system. That was the first time I was given that opportunity but definitely not the last. It’s just as easy to ignore those opportunities now, as it was then.